"Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall."

"Jews don't go camping. Life is hard enough as it is."

"One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong."

"Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do."

"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."

"If you take all the experience and judgment of men over fifty out of the world, there wouldn't be enough left to run it."

"Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like."

"If the shoe fits, it's too expensive."

"For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal."

"Political advertising ought to be stopped. It's the only really dishonest kind of advertising that's left."