"The laborer is worthy of his reward."

"But they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree."

"For a living dog is better than a dead lion,"

"To give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last."

"Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee."

"Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion."

"Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master,At which the audience never fail to laugh?"

"A kind word never broke anyone's mouth."

"Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass that's somehow connected to birth."

"Music, verily, is the mediator between intellectual and sensuous life... the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend."

"Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily."