"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

"EPAULET, n. An ornamented badge, serving to distinguish a military officer from the enemy -- that is to say, from the officer of lower rank to whom his death would give promotion."

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

"It was mentioned on CNN that the new prime number discovered recently is four times bigger then the previous record."

"The medium is the message."

"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty--power is ever stealing from the many to the few."

"We are all of us failures, at least, the best of us are."