"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."

"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long."

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."

"What we choose to call sanity is a big house where the mad have no mothers."

"Some day my boat will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport."

"Over one's mind and over one's body the individual is sovereign."

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."

"MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway."

"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch."